Carlos Bastarache: Screen-Shot-2017-12-01-at-9.jpg

see how I told my boss to take this job and shove it!

Twitch/KnokXPro

If you’re at all familiar with the mostly-video-game streaming platform Twitch, then you’re probably generally aware of the “Twitch Plays” series. Because this is a wrestling website, and because what we’re about to describe might be the single most absurd wrestling event to ever take place, we’re going to go back a few steps and tell the uninitiated what “Twitch Plays” is all about.

Ok. As we already established, Twitch is the industry-leading video game streaming platform. You’ll often find streams of every major eSports tournament on Twitch, along with random strangers playing anything from WWE No Mercy to Streets Of Rage in their living room.

“Twitch Plays” is a sort of social video game experiment hosted on Twitch that really started taking off in 2014 with Twitch Plays Pokemon. On every live Twitch stream, there is a running text chat, and programmers figured out a way to use in-chat text as an input method for controlling whatever game is being live streamed. So, for example, Twitch Plays Pokemon was a running live stream of the Game Boy classic, Pokemon Red, with Twitch users actually playing the game collectively by telling the on-screen avatar what to do using the live chat.

If you type right, the player will move right. If you type left, the player will move left, and so on and so forth. And yes, you have thousands of players typing a thousand different commands at the same time, and it’s a total nightmare, but that chaos is kind of the point. It’s a big beautiful mess.

If this sounds nonsensical to you, it kind of should. It’s much easier to watch and understand then it is to read and understand, so if you’re interested, considering watching the video below. It’s pretty remarkable.

Alright, now that we’ve got that sorted out, let’s get down to brass tax. A company called KnokX Pro Entertainment LLC is launching the first ever ‘Twitch Plays Wrestling” show that will air live on Twitch on Saturday, December 2nd. That’s right, you’ll be able to tell the wrestlers what to do, live from the comfort of your own home, in the Twitch chat room.

You call it–We execute it! No more screaming at the TV or the computer without being heard. Yes, we can see all your posts live on Twitch chat and the wrestlers will respond from the squared circle. If you can’t take it, don’t dish it. You can also help your favorite wrestler win his or her match multiple times a week LIVE. That’s right, it’s not just once a month, but LIVE every week! In addition, the show will include hardcore matches where the #IAMWRESTLING fans will decide what weapons will be made available to be used during the match. We will also have Cage Matches, Street Fights, Battle Royals, Ladder Matches, and Turmoils (Royal Rumble).

I’ve spent the better part of the last hour trying to wrap my head around how this is going to work, and I have no answers. How are the moves going to be communicated to the wrestlers in the ring? Is this going to function like a normal wrestling match, or is it going to look like something else entirely? You can follow the KnokX Pro Twitch channel here, and if you’re as curious as I am to find out what this is going to look like, you can tune in on Saturday, December 2nd at noon PST (3 p.m. ET).

According to the press release, Rikishi is going to be on the show, and if the live stream doesn’t begin and end with an infinite string of people furiously typing “STINKFACE” over and over and over again, then I don’t know the internet as well as I think I know the internet.