Carlos Bastarache: avengers-infinity-war-trailer.jpg

nobody knows I'm unemployed because I've got so much money

Avengers: Infinity War premiered Monday night in Los Angeles, and lucky so-and-sos who got to see the movie early posted their reactions to social media overnight. Some of the film’s stars (Robert Downey Jr., Zoe Saldana, Paul Bettany, Pom Klementieff, and Tom Holland) also went on Jimmy Kimmel Live! to premiere the clip above, in which Bruce Banner tries to explain Thanos to Tony Stark while in Dr. Strange’s Sanctum Sanctorum. The clip reveals the Marvel universe has a Ben & Jerry’s ice cream flavor named after Tony Stark. Critics who saw the movie last night seemed to like it more than Doctor Strange likes Tony Stark’s ice cream flavor.

Not all of the reviews were real, because some people just want to watch the world burn. Of all the fake reviews, this was the only one to make me laugh:

Just got out of the #AvengersInfinityWar premiere. The movie is incredible, epic beyond compare. It’s everything you want it to be. Iron Man and Captain America fuck within the first fifteen minutes. Marvel fans are going to love this one – EASILY top five.

— ben mekler (@benmekler) April 24, 2018

Now for the real reviews (sans any spoilers). We’ll start with the general raves:

#AvengersInfinityWar: #Marvel puts it all on the table and wipes it off. Stress-inducing, full of dread, darker than usual, yet, funny as hell and super entertaining. Terrifying Thanos razes the ground without mercy. Blockbuster noise? Yes, but with emotional stakes attached. pic.twitter.com/3zWP5LtCCk

— Rodrigo Perez (@YrOnlyHope) April 24, 2018

I saw #AvengersInfinityWar earlier tonight and I can say that it delivers. There's a lot of really fun character interactions, some cool action moments (Thor's powers, Iron Man's suit), and a few powerful emotional beats. Most of the humor is Also Captain America is pic.twitter.com/WoZNPDpGXk

— Molly Freeman (@mollyrockit) April 24, 2018

#InfinityWar is everything you want, nothing you expect. It’s funny, surprising, dark, filled with delightful interplay between characters never seen on screen before. I know many filmmakers say they are trying to make a sequel in the vein of Empire Strikes Back, this succeeds.

— Peter Sciretta (@slashfilm) April 24, 2018

MVPs: Thanos!!! Thor, most of the Guardians, Peter Parker, best ending of any Marvel movie, possibly the best end credits scene of any marvel movie. Cons: Cg villains other than Thanos, teenage Groot, not enough black panther leads.

— Peter Sciretta (@slashfilm) April 24, 2018

I am overwhelmed. The movie is epic beyond compare. LOVED it. My legs are still shaking. It’s a gigantic @Marvel masterpiece. So much to say but I’ll stay Silent Bob til Monday so as not to slip in spoilers. Suffice to say it’s gonna be a looooong year until @Avengers 4… pic.twitter.com/aHnsgj5MK0

— KevinSmith (@ThatKevinSmith) April 24, 2018

Avengers Infinity War is a lot. Some great performances. Best when it is funny which is often.

— Gregory Ellwood (@TheGregoryE) April 24, 2018

Buy a ticket for a second viewing of #AvengersInfinityWar now. The movie delivers, it's huge, and no one in your theater is going to be able to sit quietly through this one. Expect the unexpected. pic.twitter.com/8eobaAYrSF

— Jill Pantozzi (@JillPantozzi) April 24, 2018

Avengers #InfinityWar is epic, emotional and most of all, shocking. Marvel just raised the stakes higher than you can believe. pic.twitter.com/KnqJICe7fC

— Inverse (@inversedotcom) April 24, 2018

AVENGERS: INFINITY WAR is very weighty and juggles most of its characters with consideration. It’s the closest thing to a Paul Thomas Anderson movie you’ll find in the Marvel Cinematic Universe. I Am Shook! #Marvel #AvengersInfinityWar pic.twitter.com/YgntkXFIkv

— Rudie Obias (@RudieObias) April 24, 2018

Jaw on ground. You are not ready for 'Avengers: Infinity War'. All you have to know is AVOID ALL SPOILERS! Seriously. Go in knowing as little as possible. The @Russo_Brothers did the impossible. Wow. pic.twitter.com/noKZ5cQWdc

— Steven Weintraub (@colliderfrosty) April 24, 2018

Had the pleasure of watching #Avengers: #InfinityWar. One of the most unique MCU films, IW has a distinct Marvel/Russo feel, while also bringing a TON of emotional layers, dodging many MCU tropes, & carried by a magnificent villain in #Thanos

Avoid social media untill you watch! pic.twitter.com/6ChaRhK5Eq

— Sheraz Farooqi (@SherazFarooqi_) April 24, 2018

A lot of people raved about the ending (without spoiling anything).

My God. #AvengersInfinityWar was Incredible. Incredible. Incredible. The visuals, the story, the GUTS. The action is non stop, the movie grips you and never lets you go. EVERYONE gets a moment to shine. And that ending…My God that ending…Best film the MCU has ever done!

— John Steven Rocha (@TheRochaSays) April 24, 2018

The final minutes of AVENGERS: INFINITY WAR are heartstopping. Can’t wait for the next one. Marvel wins again. #AvengersInfinityWar #Avengers #InfinityWar

— Ben Barna (@sufferings) April 24, 2018

So #InfinityWar takes the Marvel universe to a whole new orbit.

— Daniel Alter (@DAlter007) April 24, 2018

#InfinityWar is a whole lot to process. I liked it a lot, and there’s so much that works, but it definitely is “Part 1.” The ending is amazing and worth the journey, but there is a LOT crammed into its run time. Overall really liked it but need a rewatch already. pic.twitter.com/3P3rd3ojHJ

— Terri Schwartz (@Terri_Schwartz) April 24, 2018

I’ve left every Marvel movie with a sense of where the franchise was going. The strong “Avengers: Infinity War” is the first time where I’m utterly perplexed about what’s next. There were audible gasps at the NYC screening. pic.twitter.com/xouqNzh7ps

— Frank Pallotta (@frankpallotta) April 24, 2018

There were inevitable Black Panther comparisons:

#AvengersInfinityWar is my second fave @Marvel movie after #BlackPanther. The superhero interplay is hilarious and surprising at every turn. The action is monumental. And there are actual stakes this time around. Kevin Feige is not f-cking around with this one.

— Nigel M. Smith (@nigelmfs) April 24, 2018

Is #AvengersInfinityWar the best MCU film? No. #BlackPanther just came out (and dropped the mic). But this is top tier MCU. Thanos is a fully realized villain with understandable motivations.

— Brandon Norwood (@bwood0824) April 24, 2018

The galactic characters of the MCU — especially Thanos — were a standout:

After 10 years of investment in this series & these characters, boy does #AvengersInfinityWar knock you on your ass. Humor, sky high stakes & a truly overwhelming amount of emotion in it. Russos did a great job spreading screen time for the ensemble but my MVPs – The Guardians.

— Perri Nemiroff (@PNemiroff) April 24, 2018

Does it have issues? Sure, it’s a punch fest, yeah, but I thoroughly enjoyed it, especially the dynamics of all these disparate teamups. Let’s see a Thor and Rocket Racoon buddy comedy spin-off. pic.twitter.com/jfjNxTWZYj

— Rodrigo Perez (@YrOnlyHope) April 24, 2018

Doctor Strange emerges as a truly fascinating character. He contains multitudes… literally. Cumberbatch is now in firm command of that character’s gravitas, and delivers the one action and single line that everyone will be discussing and debating for the next year. #InfinityWar

— Max Evry (@maxevry) April 24, 2018

Holy Hell. Avengers: Infinity War is the real deal. Was left breathless sitting in the theater. Real consequences, stunning moments, awesome character interaction, and some BIG and often devastating surprises. Oh, and Thanos is terrifying and amazing. Damn. pic.twitter.com/WWhsT12GTa

— Eric Eisenberg (@eeisenberg) April 24, 2018

Avengers: Infinity War blew my mind. I have never left a film this awestruck. Ever. Thanos is a force of Nature. Thor is the MVP. Marvel Studios lays down the Infinity Gauntlet with this one.

— Nate Brail (@NateBrail) April 24, 2018

Since we’re talking about #avengersinfinitywar I’ll say that Thanos/Josh Brolin is great. The mo-cap works here, folks.

— Aaron Sagers (@aaronsagers) April 24, 2018

#AvengersInfinityWar is the MCU's biggest soap opera ever, and that's not a bad thing. Feels more like a sequel to Guardians, and you'll get to see what makes a Mad Titan tick. We will have A LOT to unpack soon.

— Mike Sorrentino (@MikeJSorrentino) April 24, 2018

But, of course, the reactions weren’t 100% positive:

AVENGERS: INFINITY WAR has like ten legit "chill down the spine" great moments. But it's for sure the first half of a two part movie and I left a little unsatisfied/frustrated, maybe by design … at least that's how I feel right now three hours later.

— Mike Ryan (@mikeryan) April 24, 2018

INFINITY WAR is exhausting. *Exhausting.* It all just turned into noise for me after a while. But the amazing ending almost made up for the rest of it. And Thanos is a good, sad villain.

— Bilge Ebiri (@BilgeEbiri) April 24, 2018

The pacing of Avengers: Infinity War is fast, so fast I often had trouble catching some of the witty repartee. While it is long, it feels less like watching one big movie and more like ADDing through clips from three or four different movies on YouTube.

— Max Evry (@maxevry) April 24, 2018

AVENGERS: INFINITY WAR is basically CAPTAIN AMERICA: CIVIL WAR times 20, except with less hero-on-hero fighting. I think people who loved the airport fight in CIVIL WAR like I did will go nuts for this film, and people who were bored will be 20 times as bored here. #InfinityWar

— Tasha Robinson (@TashaRobinson) April 24, 2018

From beginning to end, #AvengersInfinityWar is non-stop action. It’s really dynamic and jaw-dropping, but at times, it could have stopped for air and give us more substance on plot points. Loved it when the audience clapped as soon as #BlackPanther & #okoye entered the scene.

— Wilson Morales (@blackfilm) April 24, 2018

AVENGERS: INFINITY WAR: A movie version of a massive comic-book crossover, for better (fun character interactions) and worse (it's pretty much all Infinity Stone shenanigans). YMMV. #avengersinfinitywar

— Matt Singer (@mattsinger) April 24, 2018

Weak stuff: Subplot involving Vision, the concept of which I never entirely bought into, and which drives the entire Wakandan section of the film. Everyone in that subplot feels like ciphers, lacking any arc beyond being cool-looking chess pieces from better movies. #InfinityWar

— Max Evry (@maxevry) April 24, 2018

#AvengersInfinityWar: Despite some truly thrilling moments, feels like less than the sum of its parts. A definite step down after that epic run of GotGV2 / Spidey / Thor 3 / Black Panther, but what else did I expect?

— Angie J. Han (@ajhan) April 24, 2018

Anyone who writes a review of #AvengersInfinityWar has their work cut out for them, because you’re literally reviewing half a movie. That said, for the first half of a six hour epic it’s pretty nuts, full of more pluses than minuses, but certainly not a full experience.

— Max Evry (@maxevry) April 24, 2018

#AvengersInfinityWar: Imagine taking a giant bowl and filling it with every flavor of ice cream and every topping.

— Jordan Zakarin (@jordanzakarin) April 24, 2018

That last one could be good or bad depending on whether or not you were that kid at the Golden Corral dessert buffet (I was).

Avengers: Every Flavor of Ice Cream and Every Topping opens April 27th.